Favs

So there are those calls that really coming from left field and there is nothing that you can do about it because the person is so on the edge of a melt down that a nuclear explosions just sound like a great vacation. I had one of those today and it was funny.

Where I work we get the people that just don't pay attention where their fat fingers land them. Yes, if you choose a 900 number most likely you get the herp over the phone, and yes sometimes that one person you thought that was just around the street was only around the equator but we forgive you. Yes, you bring much love into our small little lives because when you hang up your a joke that heard around the floor. 

Some of my favorite calls.

1. Talking on the cell phone.

 Not only have I put someone in their place about talking on the phone while driving, I have actually heard someone getting pulled over. The awesome thing was the lady on the phone asked me to hold as the cop is giving her ticket for speeding and talking on the phone. Granted that I didn't have to stay on the phone but it was at least entertaining.

2. Damage control.

 

Men, just stop trying to do everything. There is a reason why God made a woman. He saw what he fucked up and started all over again. 

I love how the wives always have to call in after the man has made the reservation, like he was told and everything is wrong. It was supposed to be two rooms for one night, not one room for two night for 4 adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cherry on top.

It the divorce court that happens just as you guys hang up that is funny. 

"This is why I have to do everything, because you can't read." or

"your father is a complete idiot."

Of course men you are not all sweet an innocent either.

"now, your mom can stop her bitching."

3. The not so clever.

I am not fluent and I am not even good at it but I know just a little spanish to get by. I love those calls that I get and the they think they are being clever by calling me a bitch in a different language, it when I answer back that is funny.

The awkward silence is what kills me. The two second pause of "Oh shit, she knows what I am saying" is awesome. I smile on the other line and the very and I mean very surprising part is that i get the sale every time.

when I get one of these calls it lets me know that there is not hope in the world today and hell is only a asteroid away.