Favs

So there are those calls that really coming from left field and there is nothing that you can do about it because the person is so on the edge of a melt down that a nuclear explosions just sound like a great vacation. I had one of those today and it was funny.

Where I work we get the people that just don't pay attention where their fat fingers land them. Yes, if you choose a 900 number most likely you get the herp over the phone, and yes sometimes that one person you thought that was just around the street was only around the equator but we forgive you. Yes, you bring much love into our small little lives because when you hang up your a joke that heard around the floor. 

Some of my favorite calls.

1. Talking on the cell phone.

 Not only have I put someone in their place about talking on the phone while driving, I have actually heard someone getting pulled over. The awesome thing was the lady on the phone asked me to hold as the cop is giving her ticket for speeding and talking on the phone. Granted that I didn't have to stay on the phone but it was at least entertaining.

2. Damage control.

 

Men, just stop trying to do everything. There is a reason why God made a woman. He saw what he fucked up and started all over again. 

I love how the wives always have to call in after the man has made the reservation, like he was told and everything is wrong. It was supposed to be two rooms for one night, not one room for two night for 4 adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cherry on top.

It the divorce court that happens just as you guys hang up that is funny. 

"This is why I have to do everything, because you can't read." or

"your father is a complete idiot."

Of course men you are not all sweet an innocent either.

"now, your mom can stop her bitching."

3. The not so clever.

I am not fluent and I am not even good at it but I know just a little spanish to get by. I love those calls that I get and the they think they are being clever by calling me a bitch in a different language, it when I answer back that is funny.

The awkward silence is what kills me. The two second pause of "Oh shit, she knows what I am saying" is awesome. I smile on the other line and the very and I mean very surprising part is that i get the sale every time.

when I get one of these calls it lets me know that there is not hope in the world today and hell is only a asteroid away.

And the dumbass award goes to.....

So there is an awesome little thing called luck. It it like a woman, it only comes and goes as it pleases and there is nothing you can do about it and questioning her is either going to be expensive, stupid, or both.

WWE tickets go on sale, no warning, and the system is going hay wire. It is no surprise to us that we dont get any warning.

Caller: I think that I got charged wrong on my account.

*
Me thinking that he probably over charged himself and order seat with out releasing the orginal seat.

Me: I can look into that for you. Can I have your name?



Caller: Sure, Mr. John Smith.

*
Find his order. Note: Floor Row 1 seat 5-6 total: $7. TOTAL!!!!

Caller: I show that I was only charged for $7, Those tickets usually go for 97 per ticket.

*
Why would you call in if you got $97 tickets for only $7???!!!
*
This makes me put the person on hold go my manager and let them know...
*
Same stupid look that I gave the computer screen my boss gives me.
*
So now that we know he might get charged the full price.

Me: I went ahead and let my manager know about the price and she has to contact someone to look into that for you. So they will be calling you at the end of business today.



Caller: I am going to be charged more.

*
you might now that we know.

Me: I am not to sure. I had to let you know just incase you get a funny charge for the remaining price.



The calls ends.



WHY WOULD YOU CALL???!!!!

Are you one these?

People think that just because we work at a call center that all we do is just sit one our asses all day take phone calls and earn a paycheck... it's correct to a point. We are several different characters all crammed into one telephone voice that is happy to listen to your issues. there always a different caller on each end and no one caller is the same and some time we gets all your crazies at once. Callers are much like a small little baby that knows just the right time to cry and mommy and daddy have to stop making out on the couch. 

Let me list a few of the wonderful people that we get paid to deal with.

1. The crazy women who think they get everything because they have a vagina. 

• You know who you are and news flash: WE HAVE EQUALS RIGHTS NOW!!! 
• Just because you have the last name as your husband still doesnt mean that we have to lay out the red carpet for you. We will ask to speak your husband when it comes to vital info to make sure he knows that we are talking to the correct person that he knows you are planning a trip using his points to meet her "friend" for a weekend. 
• you guys give women a bad name. There is a difference between fighting for your rights and being a crazy bitch... and you are a crazy bitch.

2. The Entitled- 

• GET OFF YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE!
• you are not the reason why I got a job and you are not the reason why I still have a job. I have a job because I quoted James T Kirk and when I want something no one and I MEAN NO ONE GETS IN MY WAY!

3. The Hearing aids

• They are a marvelous  invention.... GET ONE!
• 2 is the a "Q" and how do you get "Emily" from Lauren?

4. Ma and Pa Kettle

• Dude your old.
• If you are old enough to know what Mary and Joseph wore on the wedding day... call it a life and enslave one of your 5 times grandchildren to do it for you.

5. The non-English speaking.

•  Don't ask your 9 year old kid to translate. It's awkward and if you do pay the kid. 

6. The Deaf of Listening. 

• No not the deaf of hearing, the deaf of listening.
• We know you have ears because you heard me say my name, you just don't want to let me do my job so you can do yours.

7. The creepers

• No I have not been waiting for you.
• No, I do not want you to put your hand there.
• No, I do not dream about licking my feet.
• No, I will not say it again so you can cum.
• No, I will not marry you
• YEW!

This is from your friendly Customer service rep. have a nice day.

Thank god you are off my phone... oh look its time to go home. Peace out home slice.